Normally, I don’t post on tumblr, and normally I don’t react to situations like this. However, this seems to be the only place I can vent so I might as well make use of it.
Now, this also an incredibly dumb thing to post, as the person this regards follows me. Hopefully, this is posted late enough to where it gets swallowed by the dashboard.
Ugh, so these past few days have been…weird, to say the least. It hasn’t even been that long and it feels like we’ve taken a whole step back.
I don’t think you understand how upset I really am at this whole thing. Words cannot express the feelings I have for you. I really think that I might be in love with you. That being said, I understand why it had to happen.
I don’t like not talking to you everyday. I don’t like not being how we used to be. Friday was weird. You can’t deny that. I know you were dealing with other things but the mood was still off.
That’s another thing. I don’t like when you keep me out of the loop on stuff. Whether you have the same feelings as I do, I still consider us to be best friends. We’re supposed to tell each other everything. My walls are up too ya know. I don’t wanna sound like a hypocrite. But I was making progress. You were slowing taking out the bricks piece by piece. It makes me sad that I don’t seem to be doing the same.
You’re a wonderful girl. I mean that. Yes, I say it all the damn time but it still carries the same weight. I’ve told you before, I know you’re dealing with personal stuff, I get it. And I’m not trying to “fix” you. You have to do that on your own. It just breaks my heart when you deny compliments or insult yourself. You’re so fucking beautiful. Shit, you’re the type of girl people write books about.
Ugh, I feel like I’m rambling on. I’m sorry. The point is, you turned my world upside down. When you told me we were “done”, I thought my heart was going to fly out my ass it dropped so low. I felt sick. But of course, I needed to put on that brave face. I can’t let people know how I feel. I won’t allow it.
You make me feel vulnerable. Hell, you make me feel a lot of things.
I have never been so sure about something in my life. I’m willing to do everything and anything to be with you. It’s going to be hard, I promise you that. But when I put my head on my pillow every night, knowing that I’m yours and you’re all mine, well it would be worth it.
I know the circumstances suck, and I don’t blame you for making the decision. It’s a completely logical one.
I guess I didn’t expect you to give up.
Ugh. What I’m trying to say is I miss you and I will always have feelings for you. They’re not going to go away like the last time.
If you see this, I hope you reconsider. I hope I’m worth it.
because you sure as hell are.